That Sex Meme

[smokingtomb]

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer? Counter or couch.
2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why: Pretty damn good considering we were both about to fall asleep.
3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed: Eric Draven. Motherfucker'd make you feel like the only man on earth.
4: Something that never fails to make you horny: Seeing a lover cross-dress.
5: Where is one place you would never have sex: My daughter's room. Thought makes my balls wanna hide.
6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________ . Got drunk as a fucking skunk after my dad's funeral and got dragged home by someone I really didn't wanna have sex with. Next morning was so goddamn awkward.
8: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny: Violence.
9: Top or bottom? Prefer to top, but I can get off with either.
10: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don't want anyone to find: Less worried about my adult friends finding my sex stuff and more worried about my daughter learning to pick locks.
11: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you: I'm not answering that.
12: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: I was raised by a man who lost most of his friends in the AIDs epidemic, and I still get nervous about not using one with 'Mede. It's a damn miracle I've got a daughter.
13: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: Nah.
14: One sexual thing you would never do: Cause permanent physical damage to someone.
15: Biggest turn on: Blood. Violence. Lovers that could kill me.
16: Worst possible time to get horny: When you can't do anything about it.
17: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans: Moans, begs, I like him to make noise.
18: Worst sexual idea you ever had: Going to a kink club in an outfit with shorts. Fucking. Leather. Daddies.
19: How much fapping is too much fapping: Never reached that point.
20: Best sexual compliment you ever got: A thank you from someone with a lotta sexual baggage.
21: Fill in the blanks: "If they ____________, we are fuckin" Drag me off, 'cause no way I can describe that look he gets.
22: What your favorite part of your body: My hair always, arms are gettin' there.
23: What do you wear to bed? Pants, cause I have a four year old.
24: When was the first time you masturbated: Thirteen, fourteen?
25: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Nudes, lots. Got paid a few times for 'em.
26: Have/would you ever have sex outside? Yep.
27: Have/would you ever masturbate at work? Nah, shit's too awkward.
28: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane? Doesn't seem worth it unless my ass was on a private plane.
29: What is one song you’d like to have sex to? Already did.
30: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online? Yeah, not sure if any of 'em are still floating around.
31: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't like them.
32: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? Done it a couple of times. Pretty sure I got lucky with the afterward
33: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?) What do you think?
34: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day? Don't have one.
35: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery? They'd need it to replace their teeth.
36: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? Depending on how you define it, I already have. It was technically modeling, but a lot of the shoots were kink-themed and most of it was fetish wear.
37: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? 'Mede, and 'see you after work.'
38: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day? I'd be too scared he and my cousin Adam would plot something.
39: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"? Depends on what I'm wearing.
40: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair? Long as they're clean I get not one flying rat's ass.
41: If you had a penis, what would you name it? Little dick wick, 'cause it was high school and I got tired of the topic so I picked somethin' gross.
42: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) Yeah. I thought we were broken up, apparently she hadn't meant it, blah blah. It was high school.

Comments

[onthe_threshold]

Oh, see. We can never be together.

[boom_kaboom]

I love how THIS is stopping you.

[onthe_threshold]

It's a big deal.

[boom_kaboom]

Which part?

[onthe_threshold]

The topping.

[boom_kaboom]

Ah, gotcha. But versatile works, doesn't it?

[onthe_threshold]

He'd never let me.

[boom_kaboom]

Really? Huh. Why not?

[smokingtomb]

Yeah, and why's that Don Juan?

[onthe_threshold]

Despite my violent nature and ability to kill you... you'd wanna top.

[smokingtomb]

Yeah and you sayin' you wouldn't let me?

[onthe_threshold]

Not unless you beat me in combat first.

[smokingtomb]

Man, you'd just roll over and show your belly.

[boom_kaboom]

You have never reached the point of fapping!? WHAT? *Apparently he's the fap king around these parts, going around explaining it and talking about it and whatnot*

[smokingtomb]

Dude, I just said I started jacking it when I was thirteen, learn to read. I meant that I've never reached the point of too much.

[boom_kaboom]

Oh. Jeez. I just got so stuck on that. There is no such thing as too much!

[smokingtomb]

Pretty sure if you chafe that's too damn much.

[boom_kaboom]

Well, I've never chafed. You have to make sure to use the perfect kinda lube.

[smokingtomb]

No shit sherlock.

[boom_kaboom]

Then what are you worried about!?

[smokingtomb]

Making sure you don't think I'm some kinda monk!

[boom_kaboom]

Oh, Dicky dick. I know you're not any kind of monk.

[smokingtomb]

You fuckin' better know it.

[boom_kaboom]

I talk about sex with you more than anyone!

[smokingtomb]

Says something about us, don't it?